My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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