I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
