garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
