so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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