Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
