Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
