names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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