I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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