I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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