When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
