the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
