That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm bleeding and have questions
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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