You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
