I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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