I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
