Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
