1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
