Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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