They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
