hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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