i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
