this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
