my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
