she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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