4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
