You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
