one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
