The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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