Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
