So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
