It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
