you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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