butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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