It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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