OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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