Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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