You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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