just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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