First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
