just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
