idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
