You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
People in love make me want to vomit
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
