So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
