she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
