How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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