you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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