yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
