OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
