I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
