I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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