i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
