So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
