the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
