I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
