I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
COCAINE IS GR8
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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